Posted by: slartibartifast | July 2, 2008

Angel

     I consider my personal high bar for humor to be when I had the chance to “meet” a celeb in the Air Force in 1973. We had just opened up a new dispensary at Peterson Field (now Peterson AFB) and I, as a medic working in the Emergency Room, was part of the privileged few who were invited to meet & greet Angel Tompkins, a then-famous Playboy Playmate, who was there to dedicate the dispensary. They let us know a couple of days prior to her distinguished visit that she’d be chatting with us during a photo op.

     Well, she was being towed around by the dispensary commander (Col. Story) and the commander of the medics (Capt. Meathead, as we so affectionately referred to him) and a photog. When she came in with her entourage she walked around touring the Emergency Room for about 10 minutes and then stopped on her way out and shook our hands (there were three of us of duty).

     After that she asked in a very sincere voice if “there was anything we’d like to ask her?” As my wife will testify to, this is never a good lead-in for me. Nobody else spoke up, so I asked her if “she believed in pre-natal sex?” She tightened her lips and thought for about 5 seconds before she launched off into a minute long explanation of “since these were modern times and men and women were liberated from past sexual taboos she thought it would be fine.”

     I could feel both of the officers trying to burn a hole through my head with their glares, but as she went on and on Col. Story busted up first and just howled with laughter and about a beat later even Capt. Meathead did, too. She, of course, was as confused as a deer on the freeway, which made it all that much more hilarious.

     The only reason I wasn’t laughing was because I knew that I was going to be transferred to Minot, North Dakota, the following day for this stunt. As they walked out Col. Story came up close to me and put his hand on my shoulder and whispered in my ear “don’t EVER do that again…but thanks.”

     Actually, the final scene of this little play Col. Story never knew. After they left, the other two medics grabbed me and asked me “what the hell just happened?!” I just carefully said “pre-NATAL sex.” Neither of them got it still and I started to laugh…and laugh…and laugh. My sides hurt for all that day and the next.

     I was not transferred to North Dakota.

     Another true life story.

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Responses

  1. My kind of delivery! You lay it out there because you think it’s clever. If no one gets it you go on. Nothing worse for you than having to explain your jokes. Nothing worse for me than someone who immediately laughs uproariously at his own jokes to try to convince me of the superior hilarity of his (meager) wit.


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